That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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