You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
