she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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