three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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