That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Dear god my vagina.
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