hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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