Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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