hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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