Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize