She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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