My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
