please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
no, he came in my armpit
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
