How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
