so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize
