I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
