Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
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