3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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