He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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