How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Randomize
