Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
