You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
