And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
you didnt know i had herpes?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
