you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
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