I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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