bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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