We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize