I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Randomize
