I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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