fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Randomize
