no. you can't hotbox the world.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
