so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Couch. On fire.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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