After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
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