So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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