yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Randomize
