Screwed.edu
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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