The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
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