im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
