There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
My breasts were aching with rage.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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