Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(302): View more from Delaware

I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.

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(812): View more from Indiana

sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.

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(330): View more from Ohio

Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?

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(734): View more from Michigan

I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.

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(660): View more from Missouri

There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK

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(613): View more from Ontario

It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'

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(770): View more from Georgia

It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front

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(662): View more from Mississippi

That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.

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(360): View more from Washington

He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.

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