i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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