Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Randomize
