I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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