So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
