Well apparently he's into motor boating.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I AM VODKA MAN
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
