Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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