I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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