Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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