Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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