they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
