Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
