I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
