lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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