I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Randomize
