I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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