Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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