FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
You don't make any sense
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