Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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