I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
