have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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