3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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