at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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